Happy Monday

Hey there y'all!

It's been insanely crazy around here lately...between recovery and summer stuff and house repair...whew! It's been....well....normal!

Football has started again. And I am back to work 2-3 days a week. Over all there are just lot's of changes going on and it's all difficult to adjust to. I know I NEED to blog. i just haven't been able to eek our any kind of creative continuum in my life. This WILL change.

For the time being I am letting myself off the hook though.

I'm going to get back to blogging Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That should give me the breathing room to be able to get back to being myself without feeling stressed out because I have to be me...yeah...I know...it shouldn't be stressful to be myself...but , you know, you try it...lol

On a VERY good note. I'm doing well with controlling my diet. I have lost a pound every week since my heart attack without exercise (yes, I know I need to be exercising...I'm getting there...sheesh...) and I'm really proud of that. Today Bubba and I begin a form of power yoga that involves swords. (We ARE the Adams family!) and I've been trying to get out and walk somewhere each day.

So for today I will say I miss everyone terribly. I haven't had time to read or catch up with any ones blog. I'm totally out of the loop. I will remedy that ASAP :)

Be well my friends.

The Music

 I have an electrician coming in 45 minutes to shut off the power and rewire the house (happy dance) So this weeks playlist is a little rough.  This weeks music is just what moves me...literally. I can't hardly stay in my seat when I hear these songs. I hope they get your blood pumping as well :)

Dhoom Again ~ Dhoom movie soundtrack

Funky Jesus Music ~ Toby Mac

Move ~ Flame Ft. Forever

On The Floor ~ Jennifer Lopez live

Blow ~ Kesha

Keys to the Kingdom ~ Group 1 Crew

One World ~ Toby Mac (for Zabo)
No So Average ~ V. Rose

Turn it Around ~ Israel Houghton and New Breed

Aa Tayar Hoja ~ Asoka Movie Soundtrack

The Madness

....yeah..it's there...I just don't have a handle on it enough to be able to tell you what it is this week. I'll know by Wednesday! :)

Me :)

big Daddy, Laurana and myself in 1993.

In honor of my Baby Girl's 21st Birthday

I love you baby!!!

Tuesday Already?

I know it's late to start a post that is supposed to be posted on Tuesday....but everything in my life is a tad off kilter at the moment...so...swatever

THINGS I LOVE TUESDAY!!!

Honestly...If I'm really being honest with you wonderful folks at this present time in my life what I love the most is

SLEEP

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that elusive, near empty since childhood bank account of ZZzzzz's. It's the one thing I can't seem to get enough of lately and I am always SO grateful when I wake up and it is actually MORNING not the middle of the night. (Naps ain't too bad either!)

Before my heart attack I was a borderline insomniac. I could go for days without hitting that REM sleep. I would lay down and wake up, hour after hour, always wondering what in the heck woke me. I would not startle awake. I don't have a sleep disorder (except in the instance that NOT sleeping is very disorderly :) I simply have been a mom for 21 years now and had a weird and sometimes scary childhood before that...so I have a pattern of unsleep.

Now..I can sleep for a few hours at least without waking up. And when I do wake up, I'm usually not tired. I'm actually awake. Not dragging myself out of bed headed for the only two places that matter when you have a major sleep deficit in your life; the bathroom and the coffeepot!

Sleep and I used to have a love hate relationship...I loved to hate how much sleep I messed every night. NOW....I sleep, and it's awesome. (why didn't you people tell me it was this good?) I have even, in the past, tried sleeping pills...not the serious kind that carry all the weird scary warnings like : while taking this medication you may experience diareah, nausea, sleep walking, uncharacteristic behavior, sleep aggression and suicidal thoughts....wowzers...just the little Advil PM stuff. No go. It kept me up ALL night. I didn't sleep at all on those things. But NOW...wow...yes...ahhhh...

I LOVE sleep :)

I hope all of you rest well tonight. I have a bit more writing to do then I am going to happily lay my head in a non fluffed pillow on an imperfect bed with a great guy (hey...I'm married:) and I am going to sleep until the sun comes up. Hey...it's summer. I might sleep until AFTER the sun comes up.

Happy Dreams to You...until I post again ;)

Music, Madness and Me

Good morning Campers! I have come to some Earth shattering conclusions over the last few weeks and i would like to share them with you this morning (it's all love baby!)

1. High heat combined with humidity absolutely sucks!

2. Hanging out with grown up type people, without my children in tow, is actually a great way to reduce stress....ie. Date Night Rocks!

3. If I'm going to live I should probably start treating my body better than I do my luggage (which is either under stuff on the closet floor or M.I.A. I'm not sure, I haven't thought about it in a while.

Ok, maybe not so Earth shattering. Actually maybe it's just common sense...I seem to be missing that particular human genome though so, to me, these are discoveries on the same level with the Hershey Bar.

Onto the Music!!

When i was thinking about this weeks playlist the first song that popped in my head was "Stayin Alive" by the BeeGees. I smiled, giggled just a bit, rolled it around in my head and decided...why not? :) So here it is, My "Stayin Alive" Disco playlist.  (this aughta be fun!!)

If you're gonna do Disco...this is where you have to start. (Besides...I WILL survive this...and many more things to come ;)

I Will Survive ~ Gloria Gaynor

I know that living with heart disease is going to be a challenge, it's going to be a struggle, but, in this case the ends justify the means. I simply have to decide it's more important to stayin alive than to eat cake...(evil, bad, sinfull, delicious, rich, sweet cake....ok...I'm workin on it!)

Stayin' Alive ~ The Bee Gees

I also know I have to do things to change my life, like exercise more. I'm thinking about a membership here...

YMCA ~ The Village People

Although, like I said before, I LOVE to dance. i love to feel the beat in my bones and just move with it...

Turn The Beat Around ~ Vickie Sue robinson

It may take allot of work, but it's not worth giving up. I can't quit, can't stop, not until I get to where I need and want to be...

Don't Stop Til You Get Enough ~ Michael Jackson

Because this is it...If you knew the life I lived before I was a just so average, not so average suburban housewife you would know, I'm on my 9th life baby

This Is It ~ Kenny Loggins & Michael McDonald

no matter what though...this isn't a time for fear and frustration. If anything, it's a time for celebration! I'm alive! Shoot, can't get much better than not dead!!

Celebration ~ Kool and The Gang

When it comes to the future, who I want to be and what i want to achieve, I'm not daunted by this little bump in the road at all. In fact I'm SO excited to be in this place...why not be? beginnings are always exciting!

I'm So Excited ~ The pointer sisters

Ive already completing the hardest part of this journey...facing the fact that this is not a short term thing, it's a disease I CAN control with help from my wonderful friends and family. I couldn't do it alone, but I don't have to because that's just what family is about.

We Are family ~ Sister Sledge

It's MONDAY...time to get up, get moving and put my plans for the week to work for me rather than sitting back and letting my circumstances run my life! Time to hustle people *Muah!*

The Hustle  i don't care where you are right now...if you're reading...why not get up and take a minute to just shake off the stress, relax your mind and "Do the hustle!"

The madness

1. My first day back to work and it's going to be 14 hrs. sounds insane I know, but it's the quarterly meeting and big daddy needs me. He's been awesome though. I know if I'm too tired to go to work with him after the meeting he will bring me home. Lets hope I can hold out! I really need to get back to work. (He's REALLY disorganized and stressed without his secretary..lol)

2. I'm on week 2 of the SB lifestyle. the first two weeks are habit breaking weeks. i gave up all carbs last week and totally lowered my sugar intake by like a bazillion grams a day...at least, that's how it felt. still no carbs this week (none from breads or grains, pastas or potatoes...do you know how hard it is for an Irish woman to live without potatoes? Gah!) I did rather awesome last week and am looking forward to being equally impressed with myself this week :)

3. EVENTS! we have allot going on this week.

football game (scrimmage) Wed
Date Night Thurs ~we're going out with a group of friends to "chill"
Great America Fri.

i was supposed to chaperone this trip to Great America, but it's not on the "light duty" list i got from the doc....so i had to bow out. I'm sad...it was my year to go. (Do I sound 9 yet?) Tabby also doesn't get to ge because I won't be there and all of the other youth in the youth group are 16 and over. big Daddy said he would make it up to both of us though...he is going to take us and Tabby's BFF an adorable little tweenie named Kemma, to Deep River Water Park in a couple weeks. Yay me!

4. Yard work. My garden looks amazing...even in this heat. I haven't forgotten to get it watered even one day and everything is just growin and bloomin...yay! I will have more cucumbers and tomatoes than I know what to do with before you know it. The weeds are equally thrilled with my garden feeding practices however and they have taken full advantage! Gotto get some work done...maybe Saturday.

5. Get back on track with the kid of the week. The kids have been AMAZING through all of this. Bubba will just stop in front of me and hug me (He's 5'8" now Laurana...gah!) boyo has been doing all of the "heavy" work around the house. tabby has done dishes, vacuumed floors, played with her younger (and far less interesting than herself ;) siblings so I can rest and Zabo...well she walks around doing cheers all day and just makes me smile. Moose tells me stories and Laurana makes me smile with her million and one FB comments about Dr. Who...(a million and two would just be annoying) I want to get back to celebrating each of them, spending time alone with them, showing them that life isn't all about "If Momma ain't happy..." Time alone...or at least devoted to each of them is on my list of madness this week!

Me

Never forget folks...Life Is Good! consider the alternative :)

Stress....its a killer

I'm truly sorry I wasn't able to write last week at all. It was very hot, I was not "handling" the whole heart attack thing very gracefully and...well...I just didn't have the energy for it. I took the last week to really gather my thoughts and begin again. I'm not planning on changing much as far as format is concerned, I'm just writing from a different perspective I suppose.

I was warned about 5 years ago, in the hospital, after a major episode having to do with stress and my heart defect, that I needed to seriously work on reducing the stress in my life and consider making some lifestyle changes. I was at my heaviest ever at that time (A whopping 237...*shudders*) and felt horrible all the time. When they told me I hadn't had a heart attack, just a bad case of event induced anxiety (a stupid name for "My heart did this and I did that") I came home and had KFC for lunch. Yeah...I can be THAT self destructive. It's actually just how I handle fear. If something frightens me I tend to go at it full force, daring it to do whatever I am afraid it will do. Except fish...I just avoid them.

Needless to say a Moose, marital crapola, teenagers and a number of other high stress things did nothing to help me follow the doctors orders. I also didn't have insurance. Well, technically, I had it for a year, but just like I "fell asleep" and missed the dental appointment to have one of my teeth pulled...imagine that....I never found the time to call the specialist, have all the tests done and actually find out how I could keep my heart healthy. I put it all on Big Daddy. "You have to help me do this." I told him. Yeah...and work to support a family of 8, and deal with the Moose, and the teenagers, and the marital crapola just like me...suuuuure. He's superhuman...right? So here I am....a heart attack older and way more afraid of NOT doing the right things than brave enough to dare the fates in anyway. Thank God we all grow up someday...right?

So here's the long and the short. I have 3 major things to work on....just like the rest of the world. Diet, stress and exercise.  Exercise and stress can be taken care of all at once for  me. I love to exercise. I love to walk alone and just feel the world. I also love to dance until I'm breathless, letting the beats and rhythms move me. Both excellent forms of exercise and stress relief...If I take time for myself and do them. Then there's diet. I did allot of research (it was a long week resting on my laurels) took the Dr.s orders, my own nutrition training and what everyone else said and have chosen to do the South Beach lifestyle. Before anyone starts kicking my butt about how diets don't help and I have to be willing to change this and that permanently....I totally agree 100%, That's why I said lifestyle, not diet. Honestly...this "way" of feeding my body feels 100x better than I have felt in a while. (cut out carbs and feel better...who knew? *facepalm*)

The biggest thing I have learned over the past week an a half is that I don't have a cold.

Yeah...I know right?

Heart disease is not something you just get over. It's something you live with. The facts say that only 15% of those who have had an episode like mine actually make the necessary changes long term to live out a full life. 15%!!! Holy macaroons Batman! What is wrong with people? My biggest fear at first was NOT being able to change. I was afraid that I just wasn't strong enough to break 25 years worth of bad habits. You know what though...why not?

 I don't want to live the rest of a miserable existence enjoying rich food with my backside planted firmly on the couch because I CAN'T get up and do things I want to, like teach my daughters the electric slide (I taught Tabby the "bump" this year Laurana...lol she remembers me teaching you when you were younger. very cool) going to six flags with my boys or having a real vacation with my husband. After all I have already fought through in my life, and won, why should this be so daunting. It shouldn't. It IS, but I can keep reminding myself that I CAN do this. And when I'm sure I can't...well, I have Big daddy and Bubba to lean on, Boyo and Zabo to make me laugh, Tabby to hold onto like a security blanket and Moose...well.., at least he's still cute....anyway... Laurana to remind me just how strong the women in our family really are. She's a great example of that. And God...who has never failed me in the slightest degree...no matter how poorly I feel I have treated His blessings and His kindness.

Bear with me people...It's been insanely hot, I've been ridiculously tired....but I'm on my way, I'm getting my groove back...I'll post again soon :)

Much love and blessings to you all

Winter

Here's the deal....

So...it looks like I had a mild heart attack Friday night. I did all the right things when this happened except go to the hospital because I'm stubborn and more than a little terrified of hospitals. Stupid? Yes, but it is what it is.

I'm now in a "recovery plan" that includes "little to no stress." swatever. I mean, I know it's what it is, but to be honest...I have a Moose. Strong willed kids are stress personified. If you've never had one BE GRATEFUL! If you have, you know what I mean. They are some of the most unique and amazing humans on the planet, right after they graduate high school! (No offense Pumpkin, but you know it's true :)

I'm not planning on changing the general format of my blog at this point, but we shall see. I am taking a break this week, as I said before. I will probably post SOMETHING, I'm just not sure what or how meritorious it might be.

Again, thank you all for your support and your prayers.

~Winter

Until further notice

I'm going to sort of be on hiatus for a bit...there will be something every day....but nothing much. Sorry folks...

Thanks so much for all of the support, you guys are awesome :)

Your Love Oh Lord ~ Third Day

Hold Me Jesus ~ Rich Mullins

Time Out

Hey there. Sorry to say I'm dealing with some health issues this weekend. I will hopefully be back and blogging bright and early monday morning!

Have a fabulous weekend!!