Thursday, September 29, 2011

How to give a Bear a bath

Step 1.    Heat up the chicken nuggets. (no one likes them frozen)

Step 2.   Gather every towel you own and bring them all into the bathroom. Even if you think it will
              only take 1 or two to dry the Bear, you will still need a few for the floor, the fixtures, the
              walls and of course, yourself.

Step 3.  Pray. Any prayer will do if it gives you the mental fortitude to endure an hour of coaxing,
             bribing, pushing, shoving, pleading and the (hopefully) subsequent scrubbing, rinsing,
             repeating because it is ALWAYS necessary, and drying of the Bear.

Step 4. Take a break. All of this preparation is pretty exhausting.

Step 5. Get distracted, procrastinate and otherwise completely forget the task at hand until there is
            nothing further from your mind than bathing the Bear.

Step 6

(sorry, I was away from the desk)

Step7. Explain to the children that are now home making it impossible to easily bathe the Bear that
           ALL of the towels are in the bathroom because it's Bears bath time. No they cannot help. No
           they cannot watch. No...hey...who ate the chicken nuggets?

Step 8. Look at the calendar to see if tomorrow is a good day to bathe the Bear.


Now I have to go buy more chicken nuggets.

The Bear

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