momsomnia

Sleep 

Where are you, my old friend? 

I keep seeking you out 

but you are as elusive 

as the moonbeams 

that lead me to wonder...

Why the heck can't I sleep? 

sheesh!

I certainly need it. 

Can't say I don't deserve it.

 I should be able to attain it

...but somehow...

...it escapes me...

night after night

...until...

I'm like this...

Still thankful

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George Bernard Shaw wrote,

“This is the true joy in life: Being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one,

being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and, as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can.

It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

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Today I am thankful for hope. I'm thankful for courage. I'm thankful for purpose. Today I am thankful that I woke up this morning knowing that I would face trials, obstacles and interferences to the WAY in which I desire to go because those things remind me that I am indeed alive. Trials, when I persevere through them, refine my character. Obstacles become victories when overcome and interferences create room for God to work in my life where, without them, I may have tried to go it alone and missed the blessing of SEEING His love in action.

So today as I strive to "Be the change I want to see in the world" I am thankful that I have a direction to go and a Guide to lead me there, a Hero to save me when I fall and a Father to hold me when that fall hurts more than I ever thought it would.

I am thankful for another day to BE

Frost Faries and Full Moons

I have taught my daughters to believe in

Faeries :)

I have taught them that Faeries dance in fairy rings when the moon is full

I have taught them to be careful when playing in the grass, they wouldn't want to ruin a fairy ring, because when the fairy's dance in our yard is brings them luck. You see they leave a bit of their magic behind.

After all, their dance is a tribute; a way to coerce the fairy King and Queen to come out and bless them with a special bit of magic. If they dance beautifully and with all of their heart we all might just see something magical.

I have taught them to be careful when they are playing in wilder places, like the forrest preserves, for fairy hills. Small hills we wouldn't give a second thought to usually, but they are where the fairy's build their houses. Especially in sun dappled meadows and forest floors soft with fresh pine needles.

(They especially like areas with mossy covered rocks.)

Right now, our little Zabo is enamored of frost faeries.

Whenever it's a full or new moon she gets all giddy and excitedly comes to me with her big brown eyes shining with possibility and says "Mommy! Maybe the frost faeries will come out!"

And in the morning, when the world is still quiet and the ground shines blue and sparkly in the moonlight, evidence of the frost faeries handiwork, she is no less excited,  no less amazed. Her heart is filled to overflowing with the possibility of magic.

Not the kind of magic that Pagans work.

Not the magic of technology that has robbed so many of their ability to imagine by displaying what is impossible on a 52" screen in our livings rooms.

The Magic of Childhood!

That thing inside of us that says even if I know it isn't true,

I'm going to believe in it because I like believing in it.

 Because it's fun.

Because it makes me happy.

No other reason, no deeper meaning.

Just an adorable, little, blond, cheerleader type with a handful of dandelion seeds whispering to them her biggest secrets and most impossible dreams before she dances around the yard in circles, hands open and raised to the sky, setting them free to carry her hearts desires to the four winds...

making them a part of something bigger than herself.

I have taught my daughters to believe in Fairies.

And as a woman who sometimes catches her own falling stars to wish on, lassos her own clouds for sweet dreams and holds tight to the magic in her daughters eyes so that I myself don't stop believing, I am grateful that they still do.